Long live
by miss-nettles-wife
Summary: The king is dying, well at least that's all Amber can think. The castle had a heavy atmosphere of sadness in it. Everyone as dressed in all black, except for her. Roland isn't dead yet and she won't mourn until he is. Edit: I've added in the missing words, I thought I had them in the fic but i guess not.


The diner table is silent, Hildegard has her hand on Amber's skirt under the table, in a comforting gesture. She also wears her typical blue gown, offering her support for the other woman. Sofia wears all black, the gown is thick and heavy, and very plain, much plainer than her usual taste in clothes. James is glaring across at her like shes his enemy. Amber doesn't bother to glare back at him, she just eats silently. Baileywick only appears to have aged slightly since their childhood, and had been on planning his retirement when Roland took ill.

Balieywick still worked here as the castle steward, and looked like he hadn't aged, and yet it was still, he felt, time to retire. Amber had to agree, because clearly she only wants what's best for her long time carer.

Roland had offered his long time friend a spot in the castle as a member of the royal family and he could have 'someone wait on him for a change' Bailewick had said he'd consider it, but the look on Roland's face had said he knew it was a no. Amber doesn't know what Roland was going to o without Baileywick, he would probably get another steward, but everyone knew it wouldn't be the same.

Amber also knows, that if Balieywick was to accept, than he'd be be the steward for the rest of his life, and for some reason, not matter how many times Baileywick tells them that he loves his job, this prospect makes her sad.

That had been almost three months ago now, if Amber has counted correctly. She barely finds a reason to look at the clocks in the castle now, or at the calendars, There's no reason to, she doesn't want to know how long the king has been ill for. She feels so distant compared to her family, Miranda also dressed in black now, she rarely leaves the sick room where Roland has taken up his residence. No one really blames her. Sofia also spends much time in the room with her parents, James doesn't really. She doesn't blame him, she'd not been in there at all, she doesn't want to see her father waste away.

Tilly is due to be arriving tomorrow. No one is excited. Not even Sofia. No one has the strength to be excited about anything. There is a silence in the castle, that no music, and no chatter could fill. A void that sits between them with ease, pushing them apart from one another. Tilly will probably cry, and she will Join Miranda in the sick room, and they will mourn for the king who is not yet dead.

The king is not dead, she wants to yell, she wants to throw things at the mourners, she wants to yell and to scream and to cry. But she holds it back, she restrains herself and looks to Hildegard, who takes a sip of her drink. She looks back at her food and suddenly finds herself unable to eat.

Hildegard must know this feeling. Her parents were both dead, and her sister had taken the throne. She wonders if this is why Hildegard has been so understanding, except her parents death had been much faster than Ambers, and it had been both, whereas she will sit and have to watch Miranda mourn. He parents had been killed quickly when their carriage crashed. They hadn't known what hit them. And they probably never would. So it was different to her, and Amber wishes she knew what one was worse, that they died quickly, and no one ever got to say goodbye, or that she has to watch them suffer.

"Dad keeps asking how you are." Sofia say, clearly she would be the one to break the silence that had made itself comfortable between them.

"Yeah." James says, "Would it kill you to go in and see him Amber?" Amber looked at james for a moment before she replies to him.

"James we all know the only reason you go in to see Dad is because you want him to name you his heir." She retorts, raising her spoon to her lips with shaking hands. Hildegards hand under the table shifts her skirts in a warning but Amber isn't going to back down.

"How dare you!" James shouts back, but he doesn't dispute the fact. Sofia looks horrified she'd caused another argument between the sibling.

"We all know, James." Amber said, "You just want dad to name you king so you can piss off an let him die!" She cried.

"Amber!" Hildegard said, and put her hand on her shoulder rather than her skirt. "How about we step outside..." She commented, taking a firm grip of Amber's upper arm. "I need a smoke." She insisted, yanking Amber to her feet and then tugging her out to the balcony again.

After they go out, Hildegard doesn't start to smoke, she just stares at Amber for a long minute. "Amber." she said, softly, and touched her arm. "You know that that's not what James is doing." Amber wipes at her eyes slightly.

"I know, but I was so mad." She whispers. Hildegard nods, and leans against the balcony.

"It happens." She says, but Amber already knows that. "And we just have to move on from it." Hildegard explains. Amber gives a small and weak nod.

"I'm just so sad." She sighed, "I feel like it's infected me like an illness. Like I'm the one that's sick." She looks back in at the warm room they'd come from. "It's not fair, you know? That he's playing this game with us, which one will he name his heir, he's said it to both of us over the years and I wish he'd just say it." She sighed. Hildegard nods,

"Do you think it will be you?" Amber shrugs, the week prior she'd been certain it would be her but now...Now she didn't truly know.

"I wish I knew." She said softly, and looked over the edge to the world beyond. Hildegard placed one hand on the ledge, and after a moment, hers join it, Hildegard leans forward and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. "This will pass." She promises, "It always does, my love.' Amber chuckles, Hildegard has never called her 'my love'. "Too much?" Hildegard questions, as she allows their hands to fall off the edge and hang there. Amber nods.

"Just doesn't sound right when you say it." Hildegard lets out a little huff and then leans their foreheads together.

"Sorry." She said, but then gives Amber a kiss that makes up for it. Amber kisses back. They stare into each other's eyes for what seems like years until Baileywick enters the poarch. He looks the girls over and then smiles. Young love.

"The Dutchess Matilda has arrived. " He said. So soon? Amber thinks, but nods.

"Thank you, Baileywick ."

"The king has an announcement to make." He informs her, "He would like the whole family to be there." Amber shake her head.

"I can't...Just tell me tomorrow.' He nods, and leaves.

"You'll regret it." Hildegard says, "If you don't see him now." Amber nods in understanding.

"I know." She says, before they slowly go inside.

Her feet feel like rocks, unbalanced and heavy as she stumbles down the hall. She stops in front of the sick room, and its her who feels sick. She puts her hand against the door and almost heaves. She cant. Not now, not ever. She slowly turns away, and they go into her room now.

She sits on the bed like a lump of rock, her throat hurts but she can't cry. Her eyes water but tears don't fall. Hildegard stands silently in front of her, trying to offer support. It fails, and they end up lying together on the bed.

"Sofia will be crushed."Amber whispered. She felt like it was no secret who the favorite was. Sofia was always so perfect she likes both art and sport, and was humble and kind. If Roland could chose her, there was no doubt in her mind it would be her.

"I love you." She whispered, to Hildegard who lets out a small smile to her.

"Do you?" She asks. Amber nods.

"I do." There is a gap between them.

"I love you as well."

The next day comes far too slowly.

They sit together, in the quiet, but it's not overwhelming, both of them love to talk but the empty sound feels more like it should be here. Their hands are joined and Hildegard has her head on Amber's shoulder. Eventually they start talking. "Do you think TIlly will like me?" Hildegard asks. Amber nods. Everyone likes Hildegard.

"She'll love you, I promise." She said, "She really likes all my friends, anyway, you're one of a kind, and she loves one of a kind things. " Hildegard has to chuckle now,

"Was that a compliment or an insult?"She asks.

"A compliment." Amber assures her, with a laugh, and kisses the side of her head, leaving a faint pink mark. "And you kno-"

Before she could finish, the door is opened by Baileywick, who turns to face her with a stern look.

"The king is dead, long live the Queen."


End file.
